How to Make New Year's Resolutions that Bear Fruit

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The new year ushers in the Babylonian tradition of making promises to the gods to earn their favor. Anciently, these New Year's vows were about paying off debts and returning the things you had borrowed but never got around to returning.

In essence, you cleaned up your name and set everything in your life back in order, so the new year could begin with a clean slate.

Today, New Year's resolutions tend to focus on what you don't like about yourself.

They zero in on things you'd like to change during the coming year, but often ignore the essential foundation principles that are necessary to implement those changes.

For that reason, resolutions don't often bear fruit.

Why?

Because most people have no idea why they do what they do.

In general, people do what they believe is right, proper, or justified; but the motivating force that drives all that action and reaction remains a mystery to most.

Without the knowledge of where your actions and reactions come from, it's virtually impossible to catch the vision that will enable you to transform your life.

This holds true, whether you're struggling to learn about gluten-free flours, trying to drop a few pounds, or want to spend a little more time with your kids.

If you aren't happy with the way things are, and you want to learn the secret behind making New Year's resolutions that will bear fruit, then you first have to understand what is going on inside your head.

Willpower and brute force won't work.

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Is Your Basic Childhood Conditioning Still Intact?


For most individuals, their basic childhood conditioning is still intact.

Basic childhood conditioning involves the emotional-driven decisions you made as a child that you continue to use as the basis or foundation for getting along in the world today.

You literally programmed your subconscious mind through the decisions that you made before you were old enough to know better, and you continue to use those choices habitually to make moment-by-moment decisions regarding how to act, react, and perform.

Human nature is driven by habits.

As a child, the decisions were essential to your well-being because you couldn't care for yourself. You had no control over your environment. The decisions kept you safe.

But if you continue to use those childlike patterns today, your subconscious beliefs will interfere with your relationships and your life.

What was the First Decision?


At the heart of your childhood conditioning sits the purpose for your life. 

And that purpose was to seek after pleasure and avoid all forms of discomfort and pain. 

It was the very first decision you made, and the purpose that almost everyone is still working on today.

Some people have labeled this decision “human nature,” but that really isn't true because purpose isn't instinct. It's a choice, which means that it can be transcended.

You do not have to give in to instant gratification. And you don't have to do everything in your power to avoid discomfort.

Once you become aware that all of your actions and reactions can be traced back to this initial purpose, you can begin to make New Year's resolutions that will bear fruit.

Up until then, the various methods and choices you made as a child to avoid discomfort and secure pleasure, attention, and approval will override any resolution you try to keep.

Why?

Because what you've planted within the garden of your subconscious mind – your heart – causes your behavior and reactions to the people and events in your life to be mechanical.

You can try to use willpower all day and night, but as long as your initial purpose in life remains the same – to seek comfort and avoid pain – as soon as someone or something comes along and pushes one of your buttons, you'll react from habit instead of consciously responding.

Whether that's creating a great resume to get that new job you've been longing for, or you just want to learn how to keep powdery mildew out of your summer garden, you'll procrastinate things you know you need to do, hoping they will go away.

Mechanical behavior causes you to ignore your problems, forget them, or pretend that they don't exist. You'll do whatever you have to, to get around your difficulties, rather than meet them head on.

Due to the power of your subconscious mind, that reaction is totally out of your control.

Until you transcend that programming, until you make a different choice, a different purpose, and eliminate or deactivate the decision that's already in place, you can create all the New Year's resolutions you want to, but you'll never be able to keep them for more than a month or two.

Achieving your New Year's Resolution Requires Transcendence


Seeking after pleasure, acceptance, and approval isn't an obstacle. There is nothing wrong with making that your purpose if that's what you consciously want. 

Comfort and feeling good about your self is what many New Year's resolutions are based on.

You might want to:
  • lose a few pounds
  • start a new exercise routine
  • carve time out of your busy schedule for your favorite hobby
  • spend more quality time with your spouse or kids
  • write an ebook you've been longing to do
  • start a home-based business
Having a clear picture in your mind of the goal you want to achieve is essential to success. It's also important to make logical choices. Just because you want to do something, that doesn't mean it's appropriate for you.

Problems start when you unconsciously strive to do everything within your power to avoid the discomfort that your New Year's resolutions will bring.

Life isn't always pleasant. Diets come with restrictions. Exercise can cause physical pain. Creating time for a hobby or special outings with the kids means you have to give up something else.

Starting a home-based business or writing a book requires determination, education, and lots of sacrifice.

If you don't understand the long-term implications of discomfort and the potential consequences, your will power and faulty vision won't be enough to see you through the difficulties that are bound to surface over the coming year.

And there will be difficulties.

That is a fact.

That is what is.

Once you see that truth, that your New Year's resolutions will be uncomfortable, you can begin to transcend them. You can begin to understand and accept what is. You can make a different choice, a different decision.

You can come to the conclusion that discomfort doesn't matter.

Key to Keeping your New Year's Resolutions 


Discomfort doesn't have to prevent you from reaching your goals. It also doesn't have to interfere with your desire to make and keep your New Year's resolutions.

Discomfort can be embraced for what it is:

A necessary part of life, and therefore, valuable.

It is what you believe in your heart and what you value that drives your intentions, and fuels your actions and reactions to the events and people in your lives.

If you choose to give up your fear of discomfort, the tendency to avoid problems and procrastination disappears.

If you stop pretending that discomfort doesn't exist, and create your resolutions with your eyes and ears opened to discovering the value of what you have to go through to see them through to completion, you won't be as likely to go searching for an easy way out when challenges or difficulties arise.

The courage you need to face your pain only begins to surface as you learn to stop avoiding the suffering that life brings.

While life wasn't meant to be a truckload of suffering and pain, transforming your life into something valuable and worthwhile always requires you to experience life as it comes.

You can't walk away from difficulties and expect to succeed.

You have to go through them.

If you can do that without giving into the tendency to blame when you hit a setback, there isn't anything in your life that you can't overcome.

Vickie Ewell Bio

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